To Stay On Track

I am going to post every day this week. It might remind me to stay focused on finishing things and not to wish the days away without getting work done.

I am presently feeling upset and sad and emotional. I think there are a lot of pressures around the time of the ball, including pressures to attend pre-balls and after-balls. It seems strange that all of my closest friends are going to different events. I wish it were a case of simply gathering all my favourite people together in my house and being able to share this experience with my family too, (my mum especially, as I know she would love to be able to have some part in it). As it is, I am caught in a painful dilemma.

I just went and kissed Mum goodnight and she said "it'll all come out in the wash," which is funnily an expression Helen often uses -- and it looks like she might be the only one who's going to be at my place if I choose to get ready at home rather than going elsewhere. Maybe it's a sign!

So a pre-ball is one thing, the snacks, the getting ready, the photos taken by squinting fathers against a makeshift backdrop. But the afterball is a party, right? I don't know if I'm cut out for a partying lifestyle... last year, after the ball, I was so knackered it was a relief to simply have a small sleepover with more food and talk. On the one night of the year that I wear heels, I doubt I'll be able to keep them on much past midnight... For anyone who agrees with me, the offer is there to stay over at mine!

I really do hope it works itself out. I know that some people reading this might think it's all pretty trivial. But it's supposed to be one of those special nights in your life, and for all the money and preparation, it has to be worthwhile.