Here At Last

The holidays. The first official day. I am in my bedroom with the window open, the winter sun and breeze coming in, listening to the Bright Star soundtrack which seems to fit perfectly.

The ball was fantastic, the afterball was fantastic, everything went well. Finally we finished our documentary on Friday afternoon. I feel partly relaxed. Never entirely. This music is soothing and saddening. I think I want to go to the library and get out twenty books and read them all in a week, like I used to do when I was 13, 14. Today I might watch The Cove.

The film festival starts on the eighth. I'm so keen to go to as many as I can afford...

Um Wow

It just hit me properly that it's the last day of term two tomorrow. We've just about finished our film, just got to record and put in the voiceover and we're done. We have done so amazingly well considering the huuuge tragedy that happened last week. Good job Alex O'Connor and Jennecca Evalu! And I am fully confident that we will get the results we deserve.

Then thankfully I'm also finishing off two pesky written internals in French and English. English is the creative writing one but it's so bloody hemmed-in I can't stand it. Typical of NCEA to turn something creative into something so formulaic. And the French is also a bit of a farce. I'll be glad to get them over with.

I decided tonight to wear my antique fur stole to the ball as well, following the Narnia theme. It's very beautiful and precious, since it was passed down to me by my auntie Trish who recently passed away. I'm also wearing the locket she gave me, that belonged to my grandmother, and holds a picture of my dad's dad when he was 17 years old.

So we're nearly there. Even when I do get to the holidays however, I have a whole pile of art to do to prepare for working on folio boards and resubmitting. I think I blather on about my assessments a lot, and repeat myself endlessly, but I think when I'm feeling stressed and overwhelmed I draw and write a lot of to-do lists and planners and summarise tasks to keep track of them and pin them down in the swirling mess that is my mind.

Also, watched I'd Do Anything tonight, Tara was FINALLY eliminated. Silly tart couldn't hold a note, what was she doing there? I like Niahm most, but since when is a name spelled like that pronounced like "Neev"?

To Stay On Track

I am going to post every day this week. It might remind me to stay focused on finishing things and not to wish the days away without getting work done.

I am presently feeling upset and sad and emotional. I think there are a lot of pressures around the time of the ball, including pressures to attend pre-balls and after-balls. It seems strange that all of my closest friends are going to different events. I wish it were a case of simply gathering all my favourite people together in my house and being able to share this experience with my family too, (my mum especially, as I know she would love to be able to have some part in it). As it is, I am caught in a painful dilemma.

I just went and kissed Mum goodnight and she said "it'll all come out in the wash," which is funnily an expression Helen often uses -- and it looks like she might be the only one who's going to be at my place if I choose to get ready at home rather than going elsewhere. Maybe it's a sign!

So a pre-ball is one thing, the snacks, the getting ready, the photos taken by squinting fathers against a makeshift backdrop. But the afterball is a party, right? I don't know if I'm cut out for a partying lifestyle... last year, after the ball, I was so knackered it was a relief to simply have a small sleepover with more food and talk. On the one night of the year that I wear heels, I doubt I'll be able to keep them on much past midnight... For anyone who agrees with me, the offer is there to stay over at mine!

I really do hope it works itself out. I know that some people reading this might think it's all pretty trivial. But it's supposed to be one of those special nights in your life, and for all the money and preparation, it has to be worthwhile.

Three Weeks

...until the end of term, and the ball, and holidays. We have to finish our documentary before that, though. So I'm not wishing the time away, exactly... I'd also love to get my art internals all finished and resubmitted so they don't carry over into term three, when we'll be starting 3.3 -- can't believe I'll be making my last NCEA art submission ever in a matter of months.

Today I went to DressSmart and had a very successful shopping trip with Roz & Helen. I bought gold, not-too-high heels from Wild Pair for $30, and a little gold sequined purse to match for $11. I also found this gorgeous long wool coat in Creem (the shop where I bought my ball dress last year, it has some lovely stuff) and I called Dad and said "I know this isn't what I came here for, but, I do need a winter coat..." and because he is so kind he let me use his money and buy it. I know. I've been spoilt.

A friend of the family, Marcelle, (whose husband was the one who played matchmaker between my parents!) has very very kindly offered to make my ball dress. So yesterday we went to Centrepoint Fabrics in Newmarket and bought a pattern and material. I ended up buying something totally different to what I initially thought I wanted -- but I am super pleased with my choices and can't wait to see the dress start to take shape. Tickets for the ball go on sale this week on Monday and Tuesday -- year thirteens (rightly) take priority and so that's another expensive day, but of course, well worth it.

I've been watching a lot of the series Dollhouse on the recommendation of a friend, and while I'm enjoying it, I can see why it was rated so badly and was eventually cancelled. I mean, let's be honest, Eliza Dushku cannot act. The role really requires extreme versatility, after all, she has to take on different personalities sometimes multiple times in a single episode. But as an actress, Dushku doesn't seem to be able to dig any deeper, and often doesn't convincingly "transform". A few of the other performances are pretty flimsy, too. However it's forgivable, because the idea is pretty fascinating. And I'm enjoying having a series to follow. I suppose I could always go back and watch season one of House. Aww! So much has changed...

My to-do list is so massive. Thankfully I've checked off some of the ball-related things this weekend, and yesterday in town we had a really good filming session, but there's still heaps to do. I'm praying for a burst of energy and motivation this week.

All right well I have to go and clean the bathroom now. Then I'll have dinner (I'm sure it will be delicious -- Nana is chopping up vegetables to be roasted) and attempt to do something productive, and I suppose after that I'll go to bed. And another week will come.